Coming Back

This day is the first day that I’ll be writing again since I turned 20 this year. Last May 27 was my birthday but I haven’t really realized that until now. I’m 20 years old and I’m suppose to be matured enough for my age. So I decided to write something more appropriate for me. For most of you who don’t know me well, I’m Indira. (Tama ba nmang I introduce pa ang pangalan ko?) Anyway, I found out that I love writing few months ago when I became heart-broken and realized that I can better express my feelings through writing.
I can’t say that I’ve matured or somehow out-grown my childish ways on expressing my emotions and all those thoughts that’s been exploding out off my head. But I can say that I somehow changed the way I think and react on some matters.
I LOVE MY BLOG!!! I love writing. But since I got busy in school and my social life, I forgot or should I say “neglected” writing. But now that I’m a bum and still enjoying my vacation from school and hospital duties, I’ve discerned that I’m still gonna pursue one of my passions. I’m still gonna write.
I told you a while ago that I’m a bum, so it’s clear to you that I’ve been spending my days here at home doing nothing productive at all. I’m feeling so useless right now. Who can blame me? I’m a self-confess lover of sleeping and it’s the one thing that I’ve really missed doing since I’ve engrossed myself on clubbing, talking all night on the phone and all those things that’s been keeping me from sleeping normally. Anyway, now that I have so much time for myself, I’ve realized so many things in my life.
I’m not a child anymore, I’m an upcoming fourth year student and sooner or later, I’m gonna graduate and will take all these exams for me to be able to become really free from my duties as a daughter and a student. I've thought of so many things, some of it were stupid things, but most were really important matters.
Another school year has passed. A new school year will come. A new life for me will take place. So many things had happened and so many things have changed. No more boyfriends for me to think about, no more problems about him to mind. I don’t wanna have those things again this semester. Now that I’m totally over with boys especially with him, hopefully things will work out right. Ayoko muna magka-bf. Pass muna ako sa mga ganyan.
Believe me, its true! I don’t want any distractions this time. I can’t let another guy deceive me again and I can’t afford another heartache. I’ve wasted so much time with them and I don’t want that to happen again. I’m serious! I’m not a boy-hater and I’m not pessimistic about love. I just want to have a peaceful, distraction-free, and simpler life.
Another thing that I’ve thought about – pagpapakabait. That’s my topmost priority right now. No more this and that, just pure, nice things. I don’t need to do stupid things for me to be called “cool” and no more hesitations on doing good. I don’t wanna be like them who judge. I don’t want to be classified with the insecure ones. Diba? People who judge and mind other people’s business their business are those who are insecure, envious, and walang magawa. Matatanda na tayo diba, we should act mature for our age. Basta ako, all I want is a peaceful life. Anyone who desires to ruin that peace can try. But I’ll never let you.
No more people judging me, no more people talking about me and no more people minding my own business. Just me doing my own thing. Me, enjoying my life. And me, surviving on my own.