buti na lang buhay pa ko...

Hay,, a year has passed and here i am,, alone pa rin with no particular someone to call my own. Baket nga ba single pa rin ako? This thought just wont stop flashing in my head. its like screeming for no certain reason, gusto lang manggulo kc everything is flowing out smoothly as i've wanted it to be. But of course, there's always something unexpected that would pop out that will take me back again in that dark place. I hate it when that happens. Parang ngayon,, ayoko ng nararamdaman ko. Im in that dark place again and im doing all that i can to get out of there. But its just difficult for me to do that. Lalo na ngayong kinakalaban ko nararamdaman ko. I dont want to be bitter again,, i hate the guilt that comes with it. And i said to myself, im so over that stage. But what's happening? I just dont know what to do. There are some times when i just want to be numb and feel nothing for anything and anyone. It's a good idea right? Para you're free from your fellings and you dont easily get hurt when something bad just happen. But then, its not like that. That's not how the world goes and you just have to deal with it. Hay,,, sana i feel good again after this. Baka makatrigger pa to sa insomia ko ah.... Hush,,, hayaan ko na nga lang. Ano pa nga bang magagawa ko?